Lauren at “Wearing History” wrote a painfully true and honest post about our way to always appear “perfect” online and in social media.
How it is so easy for some people online, to write nasty comments and the following fear of anybody getting under our perfect polished surface.
This view of perfection we put up can have some serious consequences on other people who’s only seeing this polished shine all day, every day. I’s so easy to compare yourself to others perfection and put yourself down. We must all help each other and try to change this trend.
The simple truth is – No body’s perfect, and everybody have their own problems (big and small).
As a first (small) step to achieve this, I’ve decided to take Lauren up on her challenge – To tell what’s really going on behind the scenes in some of my posted photos.
Ok, here we go:
My legs was so sore and my feet so full of blisters, due to a rapid increase in my running schedule, I could barely walk and never the les wear my shoes.
I’ve had such a stressful week at work (covering for two sick co-workers while executing a big political meeting on my own), that I’d breaked down crying several times the past days (both at work and home at night).
I’d had the biggest argument with my boyfriend in our 10 years relationship over me wanting to take the job and do this movie. I feared we would not make it as a couple.
(on top of which I got harassed and grabbed at by lots of creepy drunkards at the party).
I’ve waited for weeks for the heavens to give us some snow, which I needed to be able to do this photoshoot – then I caved in, did the shoot without it.
That same night it snowed several cm.
I arrived at this event more then an hour late after getting completely lost on my way there. I’d sat on a bench lost in the capital late at night, without cell batteries, and not eaten anything that day, crying. Just to find the food all gone once a nice lady finally helped me find my way to the party.
My finger was stiff from cold during this November shoot, and I was freezing my but of in my sheer muslin dress.
I needed to lace myself really hard to be able to close the jacket.
I feared I would either faint or bust the seams – or both.
My parents went through an awful, problematic and painful divorce,
and I just broken with my mother as a consequence.
This pic was taken on one of the warmest day of the year, and I was pretty much baking in my corset, bonnet and heavy skirts.
I talked my boyfriend into taking these pics – he hated every moments of it and refused to do anything then just push the button on the camera.
I was so tired (and hungry) from the travels and adventures it took me (and my sister) to get to this event, that all I wanted to do was to go home, un-lace, crawl into bed and sleep/cry.
I was suffering from the exertions of the day before (see above) and had the migraine from hell.
I hadn’t slept in weeks due to my terrible itching skin, which caused me to scratch the back of my thighs (and my arms, chins and neck) to raw open wounds. I got sleeping pills to stop the itching and help me sleep, but all it did was to make me les aware of my actions during the night, making my hands (and legs) even bloodier in the morning.
I could barley sit down, and was really afraid I would ruin the white dress with blood.
I’d just visited my grandpa at the senior home, trying to recognize him in his ever shrinking 45kg, cancer stricken body.
I had such cramps in my back from the corset and weight of the gown, I was about to cry.
I had an allergic chock caused by something in the green wool, and my hands, eyes and skin itched like crazy just being in the same room as the dress.
I had one of my (in-famous) menstrual related stomach cramps and was seriously thinking of going to the ER to get some more (and stronger) pain meed’s.
My sister was in the hospital – fighting for her life in IVF related complications.
This post was really hard for me to write.
Not just to tell the un-glamours truth, but also to re-live some of the worst things from my life.
22 thoughts on “The myth of perfection – busting my myth”
Thank you for sharing. We all need a bit of a reality check periodically.
Yeah, I think we all fall into the trapp of just seeing (and posting) the nice and shiny stuff.
Reading this, I realise you’ve been through a lot but you’ve made it through all of it and I think it’s really brave of you and it shows a lot of strength that you were able to put everything out there and talk about it. 🙂
I think most of us have some baggage from our lifes that we don’t normaly like to show. Mine is no worse then any other persons, but lining them up like this sure makes it look daunting, doesn’t it.
Hopefully it will help someone else to look a bit lighter/kinder at their own lifes.
You are brave to post this. Thank you for sharing so much personal information. I hope that the historic fashions that you get to wear bring light and joy to your life!! Blessings to you, Mary
Mary Delaplane http://www.thedress-upbox.com email@example.com 706-340-2106
I don’t think I’m particalarly brave, we all have our own problems.
And yes, I do love my historical sewing – even though I’m sometimes really tired before and at events 😉
Thanks for being so honest.
Thanks for the support 🙂
It’s interesting: on a rational level you know that everyone goes through rough patches, yet you are surprised to hear about them, the façade having been kept so well… It’s rather moving to read what every one have experienced,now that we’re being so open.
Hugs to you!
Yeah, most peolpe have so much hidden underneath (big or small), and even though you KNOW no bodys lifes perfect, these posts show so well how human we all are.
And to you!
Thanks for posting–oh, my goodness, I laughed at the “waiting for snow” post because I’ve done similar things! I hear you on sometimes feeling so exhausted by the hassle of getting to an event and doing event-y things that it can be really hard to enjoy wearing the clothes we work so hard on.
He He, haven’t we all.
Yeah, you want it to be perfect, and then you are to tired to enjoy it:-/
Very well written! It is amazing how a smile on the face can hide what is going on in life! You have a very lovely smile and your outfits are always so amazing!
Thank you so much for this (and your previous support) it really meens a lot.:-)
Thank you for this. I was really hit by the post about your bleeding and then worrying that your blood would ruin the dress. That image really stuck with me. It really sums up the whole purpose of these posts.
was worried that part would be a bit to graphic
Thank you. So many brave women are sharing their blogging stories;it’s wonderful.
Yeah, it really shows that everyone have their own struggle to cope with.
Such a brave act to be consistent to your work and not to sit behind.
I found your post through Lauren’s blog, and can’t even say how inspiring it is to hear your story. A poignant reminder of “all is not what it seems”, and even more reason to celebrate what you’ve achieved. Thank you for sharing. ❤
bonita of Lavender & Twill
Thank you so much!